These are really more gentle suggestions. If parents had to do and not do everything everyone told them, no one would leave the house. Some ideas of what to do and bring for those of you interested to learn from my many gastronomic failures and few successes:
1. First and foremost, for brand new babies, try to
make sure ALL of our needs are met before leaving the house. Dry diaper, dry clothes, full stomach, you get the point. There is nothing worse than sitting down at a restaurant with a little critter who wants something other than a nice warm nap against the chest of a salivating parent who hopes to eat and drink with two free hands for the first time in possibly days.
2. Moby Wrap or
other baby carrier. Most places don't accommodate strollers well, and all you want to do is trip a waitress your first few minutes upon returning to civilization to really start your meal off poorly. A baby carrier allows you to keep me kissing-distance away thus responding quickly to any sound, vibration or other need. Yet, both hands are free to eat, drink or maybe even hold hands with your partner for the first time in months.
3. A
gender neutral diaper bag that anyone can carry to put in the rest of the crap that I may or may not need, such as Hooter Hider, changing pad, diapers, wipes, second pacifier, second set of clothes, Sofi the Giraffe, you get the point.
Don't let your meal be spoiled by my wanting that one random thing that you left at home in your numb daze of being a new or seasoned parent. Keep the same stuff in the same bag all the time, and just leave it by the door.
4. Order right away. Even check the menu on your iPhone when en route. This is especially true if the restaurant doesn't have a bread basket or kids packet to welcome you.
5. Never "do nothing" when eating in public. The only thing that seems to frustrate restaurant staff, fellow patrons and fellow partners is the "pretend-it's-not-happening-and-do-nothing approach." You know who you are. I've seen you in the supermarket or at the Estee Lauder counter hemming and hawing over lipsticks while Junior screams and whines in the stroller that you barely rock in a weak effort to silence his cries. The whole cosmetic section is glaring you down, wondering why you aren't hearing what they hear.
Ignoring tantrums does not seem to go over well in restaurants either and usually leads to catastrophic meltdowns and parents never venturing anything more exciting than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at a playground until you go off to college. Don't be THOSE parents.
Never "do nothing." Take action. Have in the back of your mind one of the many things that your kid may need and start there.
6. The key is always be ready to take action.
Always have a plan A, B, C and, yes even, D. Should you get to it, when you are implementing plan C also ask and pay for the check. Most likely you won't get to it, but should need to execute plan D (a swift, soft-spoken exit), there is nothing to hold you back.
Plan A usually has to do with switching positions - Moby to lap. Highchair to Moby. Dad to Mom. Mom to Grandma.
Plan B usually involves food - boobies, sippy cup, toast fingers, fruit pouches, raisins - just have it ready to fly out and into your baby's mouth before too many people start to stare.
And plan C can be a range of entertainment: pacifier, toy, book, diaper change, walk to the bathroom/outdoors, etc.
Don't get too skilled at A-D of course. They constantly change with child's age.
7. Lastly,
if you are nursing, start practicing at restaurants NOW. All of you - mom, baby and partner. It only gets easier, but it takes practice. Lots of practice. Don't feel ashamed if a waiter or two sees a boob or two. You will feel like a champ in the long-run.
Dads and partners, be supportive and ready to lend a hand. Pull out a blanket or bib, hold the pacifier, remind her to put her boob back in her bra. You'll learn.
Getting comfortable nursing in public gives everyone in the family, especially the nursing mom, an incredible amount of freedom to go more places, more times of the day with more all-around flexibility. It's empowering. Plus you won't find baby complaining when you figure out how to whip up a meal in seconds of the first whimper.
I quite liked snuggling up
under one of these nursing shawls when out to eat. Although the more common "Hooter Hiders" or a lighter aden + anais blanket are better in DC summers.
