The Dos and Donts of Eating out with Baby

These are really more gentle suggestions. If parents had to do and not do everything everyone told them, no one would leave the house. Some ideas of what to do and bring for those of you interested to learn from my many gastronomic failures and few successes: 

1. First and foremost, for brand new babies, try to make sure ALL of our needs are met before leaving the house. Dry diaper, dry clothes, full stomach, you get the point. There is nothing worse than sitting down at a restaurant with a little critter who wants something other than a nice warm nap against the chest of a salivating parent who hopes to eat and drink with two free hands for the first time in possibly days.

2. Moby Wrap or other baby carrier. Most places don't accommodate strollers well, and all you want to do is trip a waitress your first few minutes upon returning to civilization to really start your meal off poorly. A baby carrier allows you to keep me kissing-distance away thus responding quickly to any sound, vibration or other need. Yet, both hands are free to eat, drink or maybe even hold hands with your partner for the first time in months.

3. A gender neutral diaper bag that anyone can carry to put in the rest of the crap that I may or may not need, such as Hooter Hider, changing pad, diapers, wipes, second pacifier, second set of clothes, Sofi the Giraffe, you get the point.

Don't let your meal be spoiled by my wanting that one random thing that you left at home in your numb daze of being a new or seasoned parent. Keep the same stuff in the same bag all the time, and just leave it by the door.

4. Order right away. Even check the menu on your iPhone when en route. This is especially true if the restaurant doesn't have a bread basket or kids packet to welcome you.

5. Never "do nothing" when eating in public. The only thing that seems to frustrate restaurant staff, fellow patrons and fellow partners is the "pretend-it's-not-happening-and-do-nothing approach." You know who you are. I've seen you in the supermarket or at the Estee Lauder counter hemming and hawing over lipsticks while Junior screams and whines in the stroller that you barely rock in a weak effort to silence his cries. The whole cosmetic section is glaring you down, wondering why you aren't hearing what they hear.

Ignoring tantrums does not seem to go over well in restaurants either and usually leads to catastrophic meltdowns and parents never venturing anything more exciting than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at a playground until you go off to college. Don't be THOSE parents. Never "do nothing." Take action. Have in the back of your mind one of the many things that your kid may need and start there.

6. The key is always be ready to take action.Always have a plan A, B, C and, yes even, D. Should you get to it, when you are implementing plan C also ask and pay for the check. Most likely you won't get to it, but should need to execute plan D (a swift, soft-spoken exit), there is nothing to hold you back.

Plan A usually has to do with switching positions - Moby to lap. Highchair to Moby. Dad to Mom. Mom to Grandma.

Plan B usually involves food - boobies, sippy cup, toast fingers, fruit pouches, raisins - just have it ready to fly out and into your baby's mouth before too many people start to stare.

And plan C can be a range of entertainment: pacifier, toy, book, diaper change, walk to the bathroom/outdoors, etc.

Don't get too skilled at A-D of course. They constantly change with child's age.

7. Lastly, if you are nursing, start practicing at restaurants NOW. All of you - mom, baby and partner. It only gets easier, but it takes practice. Lots of practice. Don't feel ashamed if a waiter or two sees a boob or two. You will feel like a champ in the long-run.

Dads and partners, be supportive and ready to lend a hand. Pull out a blanket or bib, hold the pacifier, remind her to put her boob back in her bra. You'll learn.

Getting comfortable nursing in public gives everyone in the family, especially the nursing mom, an incredible amount of freedom to go more places, more times of the day with more all-around flexibility. It's empowering. Plus you won't find baby complaining when you figure out how to whip up a meal in seconds of the first whimper.

I quite liked snuggling up under one of these nursing shawls when out to eat. Although the more common "Hooter Hiders" or a lighter aden + anais blanket are better in DC summers.

Learn ABOUT ME here. 

Sticky string at FoggyBottom's District Commons

When we showed up to District Commons not only did they have our table and high chairs waiting for us, they had a kids-pack-thing chocked full of crayons, coloring paper, a legit children's menu and this odd, sticky string - an instant-hit. 

A Foggy Bottom favorite, District Commons brunch is, in my humble opinion, superior to dinner or lunch. The Short Rib Hash and the Shrimp and Grits are hands down two of the best items on the menu ... for parents, that is, although I did like the grits and potatoes that come with the hash. 

We also ordered the Hot Pretzels, Kentucky Colonel Flatbread and Artisanal Ham, Acadiana Biscuits, Vermont Creamery Butter and Pickled Cherries as starters - all of which went like hotcakes among our party of eight. 

Silly string and all, the multiple courses did try my patience. I recommend ordering everything at one time and having food come out when it is ready. 

At $6 an item, I ordered off the kids' menu and had a cheesy omelette that worked out quite well. 

Random side note, the changing table is in the handicap bathroom stall in the ladies' - and hopefully the men's too. 

Happy parents combined with a forgiving waitstaff and a well-fed baby made for a successful family-friendly brunch out with friends. A must try when eating out with or without baby! 

Learn ABOUT ME and check out some of my BEST PRACTICES for eating out.

Poop? No problem with Busboys and Poets changing tables.

There is a certain level of comfort knowing you can go out and should you need to poop, the dining experience is still in tact.

If you don't believe me, try otherwise.

Needless, I like 14th Street's Busboys and Poets for many reasons. Most mention-able, the changing tables. I can also throw back three of their scrambled eggs and toast on a Sunday morning. Or for $3 extra dollars my parents can order a side sweet potato pancake. Meal enough for a two year old! Their high chairs are sturdy, and the loud background noise muffles pretty much any noise I make, so parents can worry less about disturbing others. Strollers can be rolled or folded up next to the tables. Plus I've been nursed more times than I can count to nobody's chagrin.

My parents really enjoy their basic American fare. Favorites include their Reuben sandwich, vegan tuna, french toast and Oaxaca omelettes - not to mention full espresso bar. The price points are affordable. And fellow patrons are mostly hipsters with suspenders and skinny jeans who remind parents of what life used to be, and most (with the exception of a one or two) waitstaff are still smiling even after they look down at what I leave below my high chair.

Easy to manage with baby, toddler or both and consistently good food make it a logical go-to for family-friendly dining.

Learn ABOUT ME and check out some of my BEST PRACTICES for eating out.

Satellite Room: Where I discovered that tater tots are out of this world

I have a feeling that when the 9:30 Club's after-party bar, the Satellite Room, launched 11 am brunch, it was not expecting one of its first customers to come through the door riding a tricycle.

I, on the other side, was not expecting my Saturday morning tricycle ride to lead me to a dimly lit bar. But the vintage arcade games, 1960s paintings, and chill vibe reminded my parents of old stomping grounds in San Diego and Santa Barbara. So we stayed.

Needless, we - the bar and I - came to a mutual agreement to work with each other.

I parked my tricycle up front by the pinball machine, headed for a booth and ordered off the adult menu - grilled cheese with tater tots - only $7. That was the price for adults too.

While we waited for food, I went back and forth between banging buttons of the arcade games to dancing around the outdoor patio. Watching my dad play pinball, while he sampled their Vienna Lager, was definitely a highlight. Given the light crowd, my roaming went unnoticed - always a relief to my parents.

Then the food arrived. Having never had tater tots before, I was pretty stoked to discover what my parents had been keeping secret. My fascination with the fried balls a very little nutritiousness lasted just long enough for my mom to finish off a plate of fish tacos (which were just like the ones she'd had at similar bars in San Diego.) Dad enjoyed the other half of the grilled cheese and his beer.

At two feet, six inches, I could sit with my head just above the table and eat off a smaller plate the waiter brought. Mom made it through two and a half fish tacos (out of 3) before I decided that crawling over her and putting my feet up on the table was more fun. At which point Dad whisked me away to check out the tour bus pulled up out front.

I didn't make it to the bathroom to check out the changing-table-scene, yet given the look of shock on the hostess' face when we asked for a high chair, I have a pretty good idea what it was like.

Anyway, for a bar that had no plans (or probably interest) in attending to tricycle-riding clientele, I thought they did a rather swell job - unknowingly stocking the place with bright and flashy video games, tater tots and a staff who seemed to welcome whatever and whoever walked through the door. Hopefully my next tricycle ride brings be back.

The Many Faces of Cheesy Grits: More on Busboys and Poets

Fourteenth Street's Busboys and Poets continue to be a go-to destination to get out of the Polar Vortex. Mom and Dad cling to the fact they can for a fleeting moment sip cappuccinos amongst DC hipsters, and I can bang the spoon pretty loudly before anyone notices. As my appetite increases, so does our brunch tab. To minimize budget-busting, I usually bring something from home (e.g. clementines, cheese stick) and then Mom orders a side of fruit and Dad a side of the cheesy grits. The Oaxaca omelette, french toast, scrambled eggs and tempeh sausage continue to be a parent favorite. And when the grits arrive, I go all in and can't think of any other way to express my delight:

Read more about Busboys and Poets.

Learn ABOUT ME and check out some of my BEST PRACTICES for eating out.

Clyde's in Chinatown is Kid-Ready

You are off to a good start when you sit down to a packet of crayons and a coloring book. I also try to win over my waitress with a high-five and fist bump to send the message that no matter what the floor looks like post-meal, let's try to be friends until then. 

We went to Clyde's today before my first Georgetown Basketball Game, where I must proudly say, I made it until the final buzzer. For any of you uncertain parents or babies out, between the band, the music and the cheerleaders, you should go to a game. Basketball games might be the only thing more stimulating than the Baby Einstein Musical Motion Exersaucer! 

There was a kid's menu, but at $8 an entree, I was forced to share. I munched on pieces of the tasty croissant egg sandwich and breakfast burrito. I also brought some clementines and veggie sticks of my own. We had a booth so as the meal ended along with my attention-span, I was able to jungle gym over my very forgiving friends rather than beeline it for the door.  

Learn ABOUT ME and check out some of my BEST PRACTICES for eating out.

Matchbox

Nothing overly spectacular about the cuisine at 14th Street's Matchbox, but sometimes families traveling with little critters care more about predictability and high-ceilings than artesenal gastronomy. And that is exactly what Matchbox has to offer. Staff is laudably professional, not batting an eye at the sight of disheveled and snotty-nosed me.

Important note: the Chinatown and 14th Street Matchboxes offer raw pizza dough for kids to play with at the table, so remember to ask for it. 

Word on the playground is they will even bake your pizza dough sculpture in the oven for you. However, while I won't eat the 15 other things Mom brought for me, I gladly tried to eat lots of pizza dough! This latest Matchbox luncheon in which I managed to bite off large portions of dough encouraged my parents to do a little research. Pizza dough: totally fine.